Writer Unblocked

By Rachel H Grant

Father Christmas grinned like a ghoul. A full December on Planet Earth! He gathered snow in his hands, throwing a snowball in to the air. Let’s get the party started.

Read previous Christmas stories
A Loch Ness Cokemas
A Corona Cokemas
The Coke Side of Christmas

As an Angel of the Fun Fraternity, Santa spent most of the year in the vast heavenly tourist resorts – in return for one month of work each December. Due to the intricacies of time travel, he could travel the whole world six times over on Christmas Eve night, the hardest working eve of the year.

However, he feasted his merry way through the rest of December, earthly delights a pleasurable payment for his festive errands. Santa opened a can of coke and drank with the thirst of a desert dweller, a smile of snowy satisfaction on his face. Coca cola, there was no other earthly treat like it.

Again this year he based himself in Scotland, in a remote cottage overlooking a tapestry of fields stretching to a mountain on the horizon, rising to the sky like a giant hand reaching upwards from the earth. Like someone begging for a can of coke, opined Santa.

Snow fell like Christmas confetti, turning the world in to a white desert. Santa opened another can of coke. Then he had an idea. He loved stone circles, in fact had spent the previous week visiting as many as possible. Today, he would build a snowman stone circle with a difference … each snowman would hold a can of coke.

Santa set to work, a chuckle in his throat and a giggle in his heart.  Eight snowmen formed a circle in the field nearest his cottage, eight (empty) cans of coke in their hands. It was a feat to make the cans stick, so he used a little Fun Fraternity heavenly glue magic.

The next day, cars began to stop at the field. Soon, pictures danced over social media like snowflakes in a blizzard.

Santa laughed, his cheeks red and his old grey eyes twinkling. Then he pondered on a dreadful prospect … the day the snowmen melted. His eyes lit up with mischief. It was against the rules, but hey why not use a little more fun fraternity magic. He opened another can of coke, then added a few drops of a green elixir. He chuckled as he sprayed the snowmen.

Now back to work, he told himself sternly. He grabbed some gifts and harnessed the reindeer. Should he employ his cloak of invisibility? Of course, he had already broken too many rules this year.

On Boxing Day, Santa lingered in the snowman stone circle, saying his goodbyes with a twinkle in his eye. “I will see you next year,” he softly whispered. Then he was gone.

That day, the snow began to melt. The fields shone in fresh green … and small mounds of snow stood at the foot of clear crystal quartz snowmen, crystallised coke cans in their hands. The crystal men shone in the winter sun, their red scarves fluttering in a bewitched breeze. Soon the breeze would turn in to a social media blizzard of disbelief. The quartz snowmen were famous.

Two thousand years later, a group of tourists regarded the quartz snowmen circle with impatient interest. They were keen to know its secrets.

“Little is known about the origin of this unique stone circle, which has survived largely intact for many hundreds of years. An interesting feature is the cans of coca cola, a popular drink in the 21^st century but now like its recipe lost in the winds of time. This is one of the most visited stone circles of the UK, its mystery and sense of something beyond human comprehension never fails to beguile tourists. Now …”

An irate tourist interrupted, their hands gesticulating wildly. “Is there coke residue in that can? Surely we could analyse it and recreate the ancient drink?”

And so it came to pass that a two thousand year old soft drink became fashionable once more. With its re-emergence, another legend appeared from centuries of retirement: Santa Claus. He circled the globe that Christmas with traditional gifts from the past. The world was entranced by the mystery presents that appeared in every house, on every street, in every town. Could the historic myth of Santa Claus be real? Or was it all an elaborate hoax?

Meanwhile, Santa sipped a can of coke inside his quartz snowman stone circle. In the morning, a mound of unopened coca cola cans astonished early morning dog walkers. They helped themselves to a couple each, bewildered by the magic in the air. Another day, another mystery … but the most magnificent Christmas ever.

May coca cola heat your heart this winter and every winter. And may your Christmas be warm, wondrous, and with all your wishes coming true.